THINK TWICE: DOWN THE WORMHOLE

A Macro Human Techno Messiah Story

CHARACTERS:

VEXA VIRTUEOCITYólover---in-your-face cyber-activist in love with her idea of saving the world; determined to stop the advance of the Mind Web Inc, mind reading technology

BEN THEREóthe loveróour heroÖweb programmer, works for Mind Web Inc., is somewhat unsure of the mind web technology, wonders whether all of this complexity can really make life simpler, a romantic, compassionate man at heart, long ago ex-lover of Vexaís

RED WONGLYózanióBen Thereís roommate, total techno droneÖfunny, personifies the extreme consumerism/the typical consumed consumer; completely addicted and blindly adoring the techno system; she has the To Do chip.

LORDA TECHNOTRIXóbrigellaóshe is the president of Mind Web Inc.; at first, she seems well intended (sheís offering humanity a valuable, time-saving service, isnít she?!) but turns out to be an evil mistress of technology who wants to use the TO DO chip to take over the world

MS SMITH & MS JONESóreal world employees of Mind Web Inc./report to Lorda

BIT & BYTEóharliquinasólive and work the inside of the computer; they are the personification of the virtual network

SETTING

LORDAís office

inside the network of the mainframe web at Mind Web Inc Headquarters

BEN and REDís cubby hole apartment cubicle

SCENE 1óinfo jingle/intro

[LORDA, JONES (BIT, 1) SMITH (BYTE, 0), and VEXA, in office wear like the others but skulking behind them, not quite belonging to the picture]

JONES:Ý Yesterday at work, I thought, steak would be wonderful for dinner tonight.Ý But after work, I had to take Jimmy to dance class, Sharon to soccer practice, do my kick-boxing yoga at the gym--

SMITH: I knew the other day that my feet hurt, but I didnít even have time to take off my shoes, much less buy the Perky Pedestrian Pumps that would have solved my problem!

JONES: --pick up the kids, and prep for sex with my husband because Iím ovulating today!Ý I barely have time to thinkó

SMITH:Ý --much less do!

LORDA:Ý Does this sound familiar?Ý Are you stressed, tired, over-extended?Ý Does it seem as if life is getting more complicated, rather than simpler?Ý

Jingle beat

Well, we have the solution.Ý Think with us, and weíll do it for you!Ý Here at Mind Web, weíve revolutionized the communication paradigm to make your life simpleró

JONES:Ý Öeasier?ó

SMITH:Ý Ösmoother?ó

LORDA:Ý Öwith the To-Do Chip.

[VEXA spasms, goes into predatory mode before remembering and resuming her facade of Mind Web drone]

LORDA: With the To-Do Chip, simply think of something, anythingó

JONES:Ý Dinner for the family.

SMITH:Ý My feet hurt.

LORDA:Ý And weíll immediately deliver the solution, with no action necessary on your part!Ý

DELIVERY PERSON (CAMEO):Ý [enters, offers shoes and steak on a platter] Delivery [exits]

LORDA:Ý Here at Mind Web, weíre actually able to offer you the most valuable commodity in the world: time.Ý Just sign over any three of eight convenient major credit cards, and the ToDo Chip is yours.Ý Mind Web: think with us, and weíll do it for you.

OFFSTAGE VOICE: [said rapidly, in lawyerese] Customer acknowledges that MIND WEB is not responsible for any skill or judgment used in selecting products and agrees that unwanted products must be returned within fifteen minutes of receipt of the time of delivery to avoid charge for product.

OFFSTAGE VOICE: Cut!

LORDA:Ý Alright, folks, itís a wrap; weíll be broadcasting that in a few days.Ý Back to work, back to work. exits

JONES:Ý Wow, working at Mind Web is so exciting!Ý I never thought Iíd be an actress!

SMITH:Ý And what a privilege to tell people about the ToDo Chip!

VEXA: aside To contribute to the mass extinction of free thought.

JONES:Ý Hmm?

VEXA:Ý Oh, the convenience of thought!Ý And technology!Ý Together!

JONES:Ý Ahhh...shakes Vexaís hand, looks at Palm Pilot, confusionÝ

JONES & SMITH:Ý [hostile] Are you new?

VEXA:Ý Uh, yes!Ý Very new!Ý Just got here today!Ý Very pleased to be here, being new and all... gets hold of self, stops babbling

SMITH:Ý Well, you should go by HR and get your handprint entered into the database, or youíll just be a blank on everyoneís palm pilot.

JONES & SMITH:Ý Bye.

VEXA:Ý Oh, yes, I will!Ý And is HR near the main control room?

JONES:Ý Yes, just down the hall

MUSIC CUE:Ý whistle sound

LORDA: [over loudspeaker]Ý Time for mandatory employee self-massage. You only have five minutes to relax your back and increase your productivity.

JONES & SMITH:Ý [begin to do chanting massage type exercise]

VEXA: [humored, annoyed and astonished, she points] Down this hall?

JONES & SMITH:Ý [spoken while self-massaging] naaaaaaaw

VEXA: [points] This one?

JONES & SMITH: [spoken while self-massaging] yaaaaaaaeh

VEXA: Technology is de-humanizing us!

SMITH:Ý What did you say? [both Smith and Jones eye her cautiously]

VEXA:Ý Uh, technology is re-juvenizing us? [VEXA begins to self massage, soothing SMITH & JONES]

MUSIC CUE:Ý whistle sound

LORDA:Ý Times up.Ý Get Back to work.

[JONES and SMITH exit.Ý VEXA reveals her camo-love-bead-undercover garb and begins looking around the stage stealthily, talking to herself]

VEXA:Ý Drones, mindless cogs in the capitalist machine.Ý You couldnít pay me enough to sell out to some weird mind-reading technology.Ý [to audience] Youíve all done it, I bet!Ý

MUSIC CUE:Ý cell phone ringing sound

VEXA: Ah ha!Ý An obedient dog on an electronic leash!Ý And your palm pilot, with your whole life compressed down to four inches and 50 megabytes.Ý You canít interact with the world without an interface to help you [in the audience now, nose to nose with someone in space-invader mode, nabbing one device after another], youíve lost all natural social skills!Ý

MUSIC CUE:Ý pager sound

VEXA:Ý A pageróhow about ìhelloî?Ý Do you have emotions, or just bandwidth?Ý [Pulls a laptop out of personís coat]Ý Could you even hold a pen, or is your signature virtual now?Ý [abandons person]Ý Iíve got to find the mainframe....Ý [checks her palm pilot; looks up] Yeah, Iíve got one, too, for the greater good.Ý You know what else Iíve got?Ý [pulls fuzzy red worm out of pack, scary sound cue]Ý Fight fire with fire!Ý Iím going to tear down the walls youíve built around yourselves and let in the sunlight!

[LORDAís voice approaches from offstage, VEXA hides beneath her black coat]

LORDA: [talking on her cell] Canít make them buy it? Free will is just an excuse for your marketing failures.Ý Youíve got one more week to catch up with Bartlettóheís already got 99% of New Zealand wired into my networkÖ[looks at the black heap] and have somebody call the janitor and get this dirty heap off my floor.Ý or fire him [exits other side of stage]

[VEXA looks after her, relieved to have escaped detection, and makes for LORDAís office (which is revealed somehow?Ý set design comes in here)]

VEXA:Ý Lorda Technotrix.Ý The mainframe must be around her somewhere.

[VEXA finds the big box, doesnít regard or even notice signs reading ëDanger, Keep Out,í finds a hatch that she looks through, reaches for her packÖ

MUSIC CUE:Ý virtual travel sound

VEXA:Ý Whoa....

[hatch sucks her in]

SCENE 2óday in the life/contact

[opens with our hero BEN THERE Ýalone ìprogrammingî in the apartment cubby he shares with RED.Ý RED just got the chip, and is obsessed with testing it outÖ throughout the scene she interfers with BEN, who is trying to work Ö]

RED:Ý [enters, excited] I am so glad to be alive.Ý The world canít get much better than this.Ý Iím hungry.

OFF STAGE:Ý DeliveryÝ

MUSIC CUE: delivery sound

RED: [Fields a package of Hostess Snow Balls, reacts like sheís just caught a pop fly in the bleachers] Oh Yeah. [tears open the package and takes a bite] Hey Ben.

BEN:Ý Yeah?

RED:Ý Guess what came in the mail todayÖ

BEN:Ý The fan for my 1mil giga hertz computer?

RED: [whispers seductively] No BenÖThe Chip.

BEN:Ý What chip?

RED: ÝÝ[launches in to the marketing pitch gospel] The TO DO chip.Ý The technology of convenience.Ý Watch. [searching for a thought, takes her a while to come up with one]ÖIím hungry. [[Picks up a jar jelly]

OFF STAGE:Ý DeliveryÝ

MUSIC CUE: delivery sound

RED: [catches peanut butter slices get lobbed over the stage, she picks them up and shows them to BEN]Ý Look, jiffy slices.

BEN:Ý OkayÖso it makes your needs easier to satisfyÖbut is that better?

RED:Ý [looks at peanut butter then realizes] what?Ý No breadÖ

OFF STAGE:Ý DeliveryÝ

MUSIC CUE: delivery sound

RED:Ý [bread lands on the stage, proceeds to make a PB& J sandwich and eat itÖthe peanut butter affects her speech] The to do chip even knows what I want without me having to say itÖwatchÖ

OFF STAGE:Ý DeliveryÝ

MUSIC CUE: delivery sound

RED: [a can of pepsi lands on stage, RED picks it up and offers it to BEN]

BEN:Ý [pushes can away, sarcastically] No robot juice for me, thank you.

RED:Ý [opens the can and starts guzzling] Have you been reading Ad Busters?

BEN:Ý Iím just not convinced, thatís all.

RED: Ý[holds up the chip, which is a mini post it pad] Ben, look at it.Ý Itís amazing.

BEN:Ý Well, I gotta say, it does have defraction grade multicrystalization nano meme specific design.Ý So where does this one go?Ý Behind the ear?

RED:Ý Not exactly.

BEN:Ý The nose?

RED:Ý ummÖ

BEN:ÝÝ Is it a pill?

RED:Ý No.Ý ItÖ[she whispers the rest in his ear]

BEN:Ý [shocked, he covers his rear]Ý Not there.

MUSIC CUE:Ý slide whistle insertion sound [done while RED mimes the suppository insetion]

RED:Ý The first 600 hours are free.

BEN:Ý Whatís next?Ý Starbucks Vente Frappachino alarm clocks?Ý

OFF STAGE:Ý DeliveryÝ

MUSIC CUE: delivery sound

RED: [catches starbucks cup]

BEN:Ý Ho Hoís from heaven?Ý

OFF STAGE:Ý DeliveryÝ

MUSIC CUE: delivery sound

RED: [catches ho hoís]

BEN:Ý I donít trust it.Ý Once upon a timeÖ

MUSIC CUE:Ý Fairy tale pingÖ

BEN: the web was used to share ideas and thoughtsÖback before they parceled cyberspace into dot comsÖ

RED:Ý Jez.Ý Youíre starting to sound like that wacko from college.Ý What was her nameÖVex?

BEN:Ý [defensively, yet also dreamily] VexaÖ

MUSIC CUE:Ý Lover sound

OFF STAGE:Ý Delivery!

MUSIC CUE:Ý delivery soundÝ [a heart shaped box of chocolates lands onstage and RED picks it up]

RED:Ý [eating chocolates] Yeah, what a weird chick.Ý God did she have a bleeding heart.Ý

BEN:Ý [hearts go off behind Benís eyes, then sheepishly]ÖShe was beautiful, the most non-virtual girl Iíd ever met.Ý So full of carbon.Ý I could kick myself now for sticking to my Game Boy and letting her run off to Guatemala to fight the Matrix alone.

RED:Ý I could never be with a woman like that. [makes a lascivious face, which Ben notices..Red tries to hide her thought, but itís too late]

MUSIC CUE:Ý delivery cue

OFF STAGE:Ý DeliveryÝ

RED: [catches box marked ìinflatable womanî then hides it nervously]

BEN:Ý You like women?

RED:Ý [ grappling with the box] I meanÖuhÖI could never be with a WOMAN [nervously sneaks box, grabs it and runs into the bathroom and closes the door]

BEN:Ý [looks at his computer screen, confused] Whatís this?Ý Wonder Twin Geek Boy.Ý Red, did you write this?

RED:Ý [from off stage, obviously preoccupied, then] No.

BEN:Ý Thatís what she called me

MUSIC CUE:Ý love sound

BEN: Önobody knows that, exceptÖ

VEXA: You wish your dad was William Shatner Öyour first dog was named PixelÖ

BEN:Ý Oh my godÖVexa?Ý Is that you?

VEXA:Ý Help me BenÖIím trapped in the network.Ý

BEN:Ý But howÖ

VEXA:Ý Thereís no time for details.Ý You must help me stop the spread of the Mind Web technology.Ý It is pure evil.

BEN:Ý What?Ý You are just as crazy as ever arenít you?

VEXA:Ý Iím going to reintroduce the WormÖ

BEN:Ý [salaciously] you mean Mr. Winky

VEXA:Ý [Embarassed]ÖThe Red Worm.

MUSIC CUE:Ý fear sound

VEXA:Ý snd destroy the TO DO chip and save the human race.

BEN:Ý [her threat causes him panic] No, nÖnoÖnot the Red Worm.

MUSIC CUE:Ý fear sound

VEXA:Ý [now her activist hysteria flares and she whines] but there is no other way.Ý The proliferation of To Do must be stoppedÖ

BEN:Ý Youíre insane.Ý Iím calling Mind Web.

VEXA:Ý Ben, youíve got to trust me.Ý Remember how it was between us?Ý Itíll be just like old times againÖ

MUSIC CUE:Ý Those were the DaysÖ

[VEXA AND BENÝ burst into the love song belowÖsung as an Archie and Edith style parody of the tune ìThose Were the Days" used as the theme song for ìAll In The FamilyîÖ]

VEXA:Ý Boy the way our browsers played

VEXA:Ý Sites that made the hit parade.

VEXA:Ý Geeks like us we had it made,

BEN & VEXA:Ý Those were the days.

BEN:Ý And you knew who you were then,

BEN:Ý Gates was rich and pens were zen

BEN & VEXA: Webmistress we could use a man

BEN & VEXA: Like Steven Jobs again.

BEN:Ý Didn't need no encryption state,

VEXA:Ý Everybody emailed straight.

BEN:Ý Gee our old Pentium 4 ran great.

BEN & VEXA:Ý Those were the days.

VEXA:Ý Remember BenÖ

BEN:Ý OkayÖjust give me a little timeÖI can hack the code.Ý

[at end of song BEN sits down to start re-coding the programmingÖ]

SCENE 3óVEXA becomes another drone in cyberspace

VEXA:Ý [wrapping up her conversation with BEN] Iíll give you two hours, starting right nowÖ[closes her palm pilot lid with a snap and unplugs connection, hides her palm pilot, then under her breath in a gumshoe activist tone]

[VEXA wanders around the virtual innards, increasingly realizing the severity of her situationÖshe clutches her worm the whole time, BIT & BYTE enter, two virtual workers, equipped with palm pilots, headsets, and power cords]

BIT:Ý One

BYTE:Ý Zero

BIT:Ý Peter Gumly is afraid to kiss Marsha.

BYTE:Ý Extra Strong LysterineÖ

BIT:Ý and Certs

BYTE:Ý $9.99

VEXA:Ý WaitÖ

BYTE:Ý Why arenít you working?

VEXA:Ý [stalling for time] Who are you?

BIT & BYTE: [on cue, as a commercial, sung to the tune of the jingle in scene 1] Welcome to Mind Web Incorporated.

BIT:Ý Think with usÖ

BYTE:Ý and weíll do it for you

BIT:Ý Iím Bit.

BYTE:Ý Iím Byte.

VEXA:Ý You can help me. You work for Lorda Technotrix donít you?

BIT:Ý Why yes, Ms TechnotrixÖ

BYTE:Ý is going to revolutionize the worldÖ

BIT:Ý make life simplerÖ

BYTE:Ý easierÖ

BIT:Ý smootherÖ

BYTE:Ý simplerÖ

BIT:Ý easierÖ

BYTE:Ý smootherÖ

BIT:Ý simplerÖ

VEXA:Ý [stops their loop---which is connected to the opening jingle] We must defeat her.

BIT:Ý Why would you say such a thing.Ý Ms Technotrix helps people.Ý Mind Web is a community service.

BYTE:Ý [not listening to VEXA, says to BIT] Whereís her USB Port? [Vexa pats her pocket, making sure her palm pilot is still hidden]

BIT:Ý Goodness, she doesnít have one.Ý

BYTE:Ý Must remedy that.

VEXA:Ý I donít want one

BIT:Ý Itís company policy.

VEXA:Ý Iím a freelancer

BYTE:Ý [presses on her palm pilot in search of ìfreelancerî] What department is that?

BIT:Ý Donít know.

VEXA:Ý I mean a Temp

BIT:ÝÝ [looks at BYTE] Ohhh

BIT & BYTE :Ý [nod at each other in recognition, relieved]ÖAn attachment file!

BIT & BYTE: [on cue, as a commercial, sung to the tune of the jingle in scene 1] Welcome to Mind Web Incorporated.

BIT:Ý Think with usÖ

BYTE:Ý and weíll do it for you.

BIT:Ý Iím Bit.

BYTE:Ý Iím Byte.

BIT:Ý You are going to love it here.Ý

BYTE:Ý or hate it.Ý Here [hands her an imaginary cord]

VEXA:Ý Hey, whatís this?

BIT & BYTE::Ý [donít even notice her complaints and start back to work]

VEXA:Ý [watches them incredulously, then with disgust as she realizes they are giving people more than they want to make more money]

BIT:Ý One

BYTE:Ý Zero

BIT:Ý Amy Extrada thinks sheís fat

BYTE:Ý can of Slim FastÖ

BIT:Ý and Avion water

BYTE:Ý $4.99

VEXA:Ý Wait. Thatís notÖ

BIT:Ý One

BYTE:Ý Zero

BIT:Ý Jimmy Dalford jr is bored

BYTE:Ý Lion King VideoÖ

BIT:Ý and a box of Fruit Loops

BYTE:Ý $29.99

VEXA:Ý That notÖHe just wanted a video..

BIT:Ý One

BYTE:Ý Zero

BIT:Ý Don Log canít get it up

BYTE:ÝÝ ViagraÖ

BIT:Ý Septemberís Hustler.

BYTE:Ý and two dozen condolence roses to Mrs. Log.

BIT:Ý $59.99

VEXA:Ý [looks over their shoulder and realizes they are over supplying the thought] oh my godÖLorda and her Mind Web are more evil than I ever imagined.

[BIT & BYTE continue working in soundless pantomime]

BEN:Ý [taps on his laptop from the other side of the stage]Ý Vexa, are you in there?

VEXA:Ý [taps on her palm pilot] Ben?

BEN:Ý Vexa?

MUSIC CUE:Ý Lover sound.

VEXA:Ý Ben?Ý [pause] Finally.Ý Ben, I gotta get out of here.Ý Iíve got two virtual information humpers named Bit and Byte plugging me in, oiling me, poking me.

BEN:Ý Relax, theyíre only ONES and ZEROS.

VEXA:Ý This place is crazy, worse than I thought. Theyíre inserting extra products into customer thought and giving people more than they asked for.Ý Consume consume.Ý Iím going to unleash the Red WormÖ

MUSIC CUE:Ý fear sound

VEXA:Ý and put us all out of the misery that is sure to come if this Mind Web technology grows any more powerful.

BEN: You canít.Ý

VEXA:Ý Says who?

BEN:Ý The Red Worm

MUSIC CUE:Ý fear soundÖ

BEN:Ý has been dormant since its capture in 1988, when it almost destroyed all hope of techno human relations.Ý If you set it free now, not only will it kill you but it will erase every hard drive in the world and destroy the Internet.Ý

VEXA:Ý Whatís so bad about that.

BEN:Ý [growing desperate, too afraid to put his real card, his love feelings, on the table] Listen to me Vexa.Ý Reason with me.Ý The Red Worm

MUSIC CUE:Ý fear soundÖ

BEN:Ý will screw up the tracking on VCRs, reprogram phone AutoDialers so they only call 900 numbers. Vexa, the Red Worm

MUSIC CUE:Ý fear soundÖ

BEN:Ý will leave toilet seats up worldwide.

VEXA:Ý [she reconsiders]Ý If Iím dead, I wonít care if toilet seats are up or down

BEN:Ý [accidentally lets it out before stopping himself] What if I were the one to leave it upÖ

MUSIC CUE:Ý love sound

VEXA: [realizes he still loves her, but she too is too shy to admit it]Öoh Ben.

BEN:Ý [he canít hold himself back anymore] Oh Vexa!Ý For the love of DOS,

Donít do it.Ý Iíve found the glitch.Ý Iím coming. Wait for me.

MUSIC CUE:Ý love sound

SCENE 4óLORDAís evil plan

LORDA at desk and SECRETARY voice-over

LORDA:Ý Letís seeÖ[thinkingÖ] hmmmÖwhat if the thought of a car cup-holder were enhanced by....a Ferrari!Ý Iíd only be giving people what theyíre going to want in a minute, after all, saving them the anguish of desire. Itís perfect.Ý They think bathing suit, I make them want a hot tubÖswimming poolÖa condo in palm springsÖ

SECRETARY:Ý PepsiCo on line 1.

LORDA picks up: .Ý Glad you like the proposal, but I must tell you that Coca-Cola is interested, too.... Well, youíd never need to run those pathetic taste-test ads again, no one would ever think of choosing Coke, if you get my meaning.

SECRETARY:Ý Ralph Nader III on line 3.

LORDA:Ý Excuse me....Mr. Nader, what can I do for you?....[gets indignant] Mind Web is simply listening to peopleís desires and problems and implementing their solutions...Yes, well, your grandfather didnít become president, did he.Ý Goodbye.

[hangs up]Ý There must be some sex scandal I can pin on him, get him out of my wayÖ

SECRETARY:Ý Canada on line 3

LORDA: ÝOh CanadaÖOur data shows that Canadians are tired of being perceived as unamerican.Ý Mind Web would like to help, but your strict handgun laws are keeping us from fulfilling their needsÖ.

SECRETARY:Ý Ms. Technotrix, There is an error message from the network.

LORDA: [looks at her computer screen]Ý What?! A carbon leak in the Mind Web.Ý Iím on my way [exits]

SCENEÝ 5óthe confrontation

[scene opens with BIT & BYTEÝ working, VEXA skulking around the background nervously fondling the Red Worm]

BIT:Ý One

BYTE:Ý Zero

BIT: Johnston Peckers wants a girlfriend

BYTE:Ý One year singles connection membership Ö

BIT:Ý and a new wardrobe and tattoo.

BYTE:Ý $2,789.69

[BIT & BYTE continue working soundlessly]

VEXA:Ý [enters behind them, cradling the worm, talking to it, cooing at it, obviously starting to lose it, thinks sheíll never get out of the Mind Web] There there, little wormy.Ý I know all these technofools are making you hungry.Ý Be patient, my pretty. Soon you can play with all the fiberoptic wires you want. [her head rolls around]Ý ohÖohÖoh all the line noise is making mommyís head swirl.Ý There there wormy. [getting desperate] Ben? Ben?Ý Whatís taking so long?

MUSIC CUE:Ý virtual travel sound (travel In)

BEN:Ý WhoaÖ[pleased with himself, pats himself down, notices his black and silver clothes] Iím inÖ[begin looking around] Vexa?

VEXA:Ý Ben?

BEN:Ý Vexa!

VEXA:Ý Ben!

[love music punctuationÖthey run toward each other, but geek out before they actually touch, VEXA pulls out the red wormóscary music cue--and shows it to him]

MUSIC CUE:Ý fear sound

VEXA: It wants in Ben Ö

BEN:Ý [in a mix of desperation and bravado] Not with out the protection of thisÖ[whips out a worm sleeve]Ö

VEXA:Ý [gasps, jumps back with the worm] Oh my God!Ý What does it do?

BEN:Ý It turns the deadly Red Worm

MUSIC CUE:Ý fear sound

BEN: into The Think Twice Virus

MUSIC CUE:Ý Think Twice sound.

[BEN & VEXA slip the sleeve on the worm together, panting and breathing as they do]

BEN:Ý [holds up the encased worm] Viola! I mean, erÖvoila!

VEXA: ÝOoo baby.Ý

BEN: Weíve got to release it into the network...

VEXA:Ý Then what?

BEN:Ý Enter in a bit Ö[BIT looks up for a moment, then resumes work, BEN notices and changes his words]Öa smidgen of code, [points to each thing on his list], toggle the dump switch, flip the fiberoptic beam, and in 30 seconds, TO DO chip transforms into the ThinkTwice Chip

MUSIC CUE:Ý Think Twice sound

BEN:Ý and all of this virtual product pimping will be just another bad dream.

VEXA: Penetrative programming, Ben!

BEN: A major progasm.

VEXA: Letís undo it.

[Just as BEN and VEXA are about to release the Think Twice virus, LORDA enters]

LORDA:Ý [entering the virtual world in full technotrix mode, no longer able to contain her evil, barking her orders] Bit? Byte?

BIT: Yes boss

BYTE:Ý Right here Ms. TechnotrixÖ

LORDA:Ý [momentarily distracted as she notices a smell in the air] Do either of you want to explain why Sister Mary at the Vatican just got a box of Trojans?Ý

BIT & BYTE: [pointing at VEXA]ÖShe did it!

VEXA: [passes the Worm to BEN, then jumps in front of him to hide him]

LORDA:Ý Ah ha!Ý I thought I smelled uncommodified thought!!Ý What are you doing here?!

[BIT & BYTE move toward her]

VEXA:Ý [grabs the worm out of BENís hands, and they do a tug a war over it] give me the worm.

MUSIC CUE:Ý fear sound

[LORDA screams at the sight of the worm]

BEN:Ý You donít know how it works.Ý Youíll kill us all!

VEXA: [wins the tug-o-war and thrusts it toward the approaching BIT & BYTE]Ý Get away from me you phosphorescent sell-outs.Ý I will not be assimilated!!!

MUSIC CUE:Ý techno music chase sound

[a struggle ensues, and a chaseÖeventually BIT emerges with the worm; BIT is about to give the worm to LORDA whenÖ]

BYTE:Ý You canít.

[EVERYONE looks at her, shocked]

BIT:Ý What do you mean, I canít?

BYTE:Ý I know the girl is obnoxious, but the ideas make sense [Points at BEN] Pretend itís him talking.

VEXA:Ý Hey

LORDA:Ý [threatening] If you donít give me that worm to me right now, Iíll demote you to snail mail.

BYTE:Ý ooohh scaryÖ [to BEN]Ý Is it simple source code?

BEN:Ý Smooth, easy.Ý A Real Time upload, some offline java, and the world will be thinkiní twice.

MUSIC CUE:Ý Think Twice sound

LORDA:Ý Youíll be spam!Ý [Lunges for worm, BLACKOUTÖin a dark theater, otherwise,Ý everybody but bit and byte disappearÖshow them putting worm toward holeÖor a strobe lightÖ]

MUSIC CUE:Ý virtual travel out sound

SCENE 6óback to reality

[back in LORDAís officeÖBEN & VEXA return to the real word as the strange virtual to reality transfer sound fades off]

MUSIC CUE:Ý Virtual Travel In sound

BEN:Ý You did it Vexa.Ý

MUSIC CUE: Love sound

VEXA:Ý I did didnít I?Ý [BEN looks at her as if to say, ìnot without me you didnítî, VEXAÝ smiles sheepishly, suggesting she might change her self-absorbed grandiose ways if he stops being so self-effacing]Ý We did it.

[once again, they stare awkwardly, but lovinglyÝ at each other]

BEN:Ý UhÖI guess we should exchange URLs?

VEXA:Ý virtueocity.org

BEN: Mrwinky.net

[both keep shuffling around, looking at the ground, nervously waiting for the other to make the move, unsure what to do now that they donít have a crisis to solveÖthey make a few attempts to say something, with each one almost speaking, then stoppingÝ short.Ý Finally VEXA is the one to leap Ö]

VEXA: MaybeÖuhÖwe could goÖfor coffee?

BEN:Ý In real time?

VEXA:Ý [nods yes]

BEN:Ý [embarrassed but relieved]Ý I know of the perfect little non-franchised cafÈ.Ý Itís right around the corner.

[they begin to exit Öbut then they run into RED]

RED: I donít know whatís happening.Ý I was hungry.Ý All I wanted was a simple hot dogÖ